Come Home Soon!
by sweet-and-simple
Summary: Lambe does something naughty and Colonnello is on the receiving end of her devious behavior.  What is a man to do?  SO MUCH SMUT female!Lambo, ColonnelloXLambo


_0…_

_Little itty bitty girls like Lambe of the Bovino famiglia were just not allowed in dark, gloomy taverns where big, bad mercenaries and Mafioso's went about doing their dirty, seedy business. _

_So the boss of the Bovino famiglia made the active decision to send his niece, five of his sons, and two of his daughters to Mafia Land for a weekend vacation. It was a full-proof plan as he considered it. What could go wrong?_

_Well…_

_Lambe could go wrong. Because the little itty bitty girl was more demon than her little itty bitty body could contain. The boss should have seen it coming._

"_What do you mean my niece has been sent to the training area?" he barked over the phone, in contact with the Mafia Land receptionist. _

"Lambe of the Bovino famiglia has been sent to the training area for disgracing the face of the world's greatest hitman and our top sponsor, Reborn!_"_

"… _What exactly did she do?"_

"That little demon!_" the usually cheery woman squealed. "_She popped all of the Reborn balloons and drew a moustache on all of the signs and billboards starring Reborn's face! What does that embodiment of evil have against our hero?_"_

_The boss rubbed his forehead tiredly. "Most likely, nothing. She just has a… habit of defacing private (and public…) property." He doubted she even knew who Reborn was, despite his popularity. She really was never up with the times. "You can not punish a five-year old girl in such a harsh way, the training area hardly sounds like appropriate punishment!"_

"You're lucky we don't put her in front of a firing squad! Crimes done on Mafia Land soil, which, if I must remind you, is neutral ground, are punishable under death!_"_

"_No!"_

"Then you should be happy that she's only going to the training area! I'm sure Colonnello will be 'gentle' on that… that…_" She trailed off into blistering Italian curses that had the boss blushing._

_What words for the lighthearted receptionist to know! Then again, she possibly met more mafia in a day than he had in his life, working where she was. Someone could learn a whole new dictionary of vocabulary meeting so many Mafioso's. _

"_Well… Thank you." He supposed. "Will she be returning with the rest of my famiglia as planned?"_

"Have a nice day, Bovino~_" she sing-sang. The dead line rung annoyingly in the boss's ear._

_He hung up in turn and stared blankly at his desk. "… She is coming home, right?" _

_His office, shaped conspicuously like a pair of bovine horns, did not answer him._

_1…_

Technology was something of great amazement and awe that Lambe of the Bovino and Vongola famiglia wished she could just worship on her knees.

That was mostly because said technology was helping her tease and taunt the same man she usually did worship on her knees.

Her coral red lips quirked in a devious smile and her emerald/lime/jade/forest/every-shade-of-green-ever-imagined eyes twinkled mischievously as the homemade video finished transferring from her camcorder to her email account. She clicked 'send' and the message disappeared into the internet, soon to meet the desired person.

"_Yare, yare_… the things I do for love." She touched a fingertip to her mouth and her tongue peaked playfully around it. "I hope you enjoy it."

_2…_

_Lambe was a very unhappy camper._

_So far there were two dudes cowering on the cliff's edge, preparing themselves to jump against their greater instincts. Usually, she would be laughing. Or wondering why everyone was jumping off a cliff. Maybe she should to? But she didn't like the looks of the whirlpool far below._

_Instead, she was wondering who the hell that baby thought he was, telling those two dudes to jump off a cliff into that mean-looking whirlpool! It should be Lambe telling them what to do, she was a princess! Everyone must do as the princess said because princesses were the best and almightiest. _

_Maybe what she hated more than that was that he was _telling_ her to join them. She didn't like it when people tried to boss her around!_

"Kora_, you've got to for the sake of completing your training!"_

"_NO!"_

"_You haven't done a damn thing I've said so far, so just get it over with!"_

"_NO!"_

"Kora_, you're a really stubborn girl!"_

"_NO!" Wait… "You're a bastard, you know that? I'm a little princess and you're HARASSING me!"_

"_You should have respected Mafia Land property," he grunted. _

"_YOU SHOULD BE NICE TO ME!"_

"Kora_, just jump off the cliff."_

"_I don't want to!"_

"_Do it anyway!"_

"_NO!"_

"_Do it."_

"_NO!"_

"_Do. It. _Kora_." _

"_Nooooo."_

"_I don't want to have to force a girl to do something they don't want to." He shouldered his rifle behind him and whistled. A huge falcon swooped across the sky and came to levitate over the blonde. "But if you don't want to act like a girl, I'm not going to treat you like one, _kora_!" _

_The falcon grabbed his shoulders with its talons and, before Lambe was entirely sure what was happening, the baby had grabbed her by her hands and lifted her over the edge of the cliff. The two boys watched on in horror and some relief that it wasn't them being airlifted. _

"_Jump on the count of three! One. Two. THREE! _KORA_!" _

_Lambe's nails dug into the blonde's wrists just as the baby let go. "Ga ma n! GA MA N! GA MA N! WAAAAA! I DON'T WANT TO DIIEEE!"_

_The two boys had already jumped however. The baby was one hell of a demon, even Lambe had to agree. _

"_You'll only die if you don't try 1,000 % to live!"_

"_GYAAAA WAAAA WAAAA!" She looked up at him with huge, glistening green eyes. "Don't drop meeee!" _

"_Sorry, kid. You'll thank me in the end, _kora_!" He jerked, twisted, and she was suddenly falling. _

_Her heart stopped. _'I don't want to die!'_ So she did the first thing she could think of. _

_She didn't have enough hair to hide her stuff in – she used to have an afro, but then her boss said that that wasn't a right look for a princess to have. So she hid everything in her moomoo backpack instead (the one that looked like a cow's face). _

_Just before she was sucked into the whirlpool, she reached into the limitless space of her bookbag and dragged out a purple metallic weapon. _

_3…_

Someone brought a nuclear weapon to a gunfight.

Colonnello was, of course, planning on wasting the son of a bitch and all of his scumbag friends. Who the hell did they think they were, trying to annihilate Mafia Land and all the things it stood for? Sure, he didn't really mind that they were taking the time to blow up all the signs and airships featuring the asshole Reborn, but they were taking it a few steps too far by trying to wipe out all the famiglia present. Including the kiddies.

No one fucked with kiddies while Colonnello was around. No one.

Especially with nuclear weapons.

He cocked his rifle, double-checked to make sure he still had enough ammo to blow all of those shitheads back to the day before they were born with asses misplaced, and then nearly shot himself in the thigh when the Robin's _Cherry Lips_ blared from the vague vicinity of his tactical vest.

"_Kora_… I love you to death, Lambe, but this really isn't the time!"

He turned his cell phone off. He'd look at whatever message she had sent him later.

_4…_

_Colonnello watched the little girl disappear in a cloud of pink smoke. _

_Falco screeched, confused and uncertain._

"_That's never happened before, _kora_…" _

_The two boys screaming their heads off like little bitches were suddenly pulled under the water. The strange thing was that it didn't appear to be related to the overbearing current. Colonnello had seen more than one person give into the whirlpool and these were not two people giving into the whirlpool. _

_Nope, these were two people being grabbed and pulled under the surface of the whirlpool._

_Colonnello's world erupted in electric green. _

_The whirlpool tore in two, like the eye of a hurricane, and a lance of lightening shot up from the floor of the sea to narrowly miss Falco and Colonnello by extension. At the bottom of it were the two boys, gasping for air and trembling from shock. A third person stood between them, a hand on each of their shoulders, and was looking up at Colonnello with a fond smile._

_Colonnello's frown deepened. He threw a little girl into the whirlpool and now a teenage one was at the bottom of it? That didn't make sense. But if he looked closely enough, he could say that the two looked too much alike to be mere coincidence. _

_The little girl had had black hair, green eyes, and slightly dark skin. She had been wearing a cow-print dress with a white sweater over it, cow horns in her hair, and a farm-pal backpack._

_This girl had the same features… just about ten years older, if Colonnello could trust his eyes. Her taste in attire wasn't that different either. Though she wasn't wearing a dress, what he suspected was the same farm-pal backpack hung onto her back, looking worse for wear, and a cow-print tee clung wetly to her torso, revealing the cow-print bra she wore under it. Her black cargo cutoffs shaped to mile-long legs and cow horns were attached to her waist by her belt. Her wavy black hair wound down her back in a rippling, dripping wave. _

"_Hey, Colonnello!" she cried, waving. "You mind lifting us out of here?"_

_And she obviously knew him. Or thought she knew him. His eyes slid suspiciously narrow. "_Kora_, are you the kid I just threw in there?"_

_The teenager looked down thoughtfully. Looked back up at him. Looked at the two boys who stared desperately up at her. Finally, she looked at him again. "Most likely." _

"_I don't believe you."_

"_I have proof!" She released the two boys, who reciprocated by grabbing onto her legs and shivering against her thighs like terrified puppies, and reached into her bosom. "HERE!" _

_A necklace dangled in her fingers. A small silver cow bell twinkled on the small silver chain. Next to it was a small black medallion with the white numbers 02 on it. _

_The badge on his bandana glinted in the sunlight almost like it was reminding him of the importance of her proof. His badge saying 01. _

_Her smile was getting slightly panicked. "I really can't keeping holding the water like this!" He swore he heard her mutter "ga ma n" to herself._

"Kora_, there's a lot you're going to have to explain once I get you up here."_

"_F-fine!"_

_All of that bravado was disappearing bit by bit as the water closed in bit by bit._

"_C'mon, Falco, we've got to go down in there."_

_5…_

Later was nearly twelve hours after the fact. The nuclear weapon was stalled, disabled, and then very warily disposed of. The assholes who had tried to set it off had been taken care of. Colonnello had really enjoyed that part.

It was as he was undressing, stripping off his tactical vest and the objects within it, that he remembered his earlier promise.

He sifted through his messages.

Death threat…

Threat of world annihilation…

Reborn…

Death threat…

Reborn…

Reborn…

'_Asshole.'_

Death threat…

Death threat…

Sexual proposition…

Forty other propositions with very detailed photos and some small clips…

There was a hell of a lot of mail. He needed to remember to check it more often.

'Kora_, this must be it.' _

He clicked on the icon of his little lover tucked into his shoulder, both grinning. He really liked that picture.

"_Would you like to accept the attached video?" _his phone asked him digitally.

"Yes."

The light in the corner of the screen flashed from red to green as the voice recognition app took his vocal consent into consideration and then obeyed him.

The small yet wide screen filled with the vision of the dark inner fabric of the camouflage jacket he left with his baby girl. She liked to smell him around her, so he'd left it behind. Just for her.

The fabric rustled and then the face of his girlfriend came into view. "ciao, amante!"

He couldn't stop the grin from spreading across his face. "_Ciao, bambina._"

"_Have you missed me?_" she asked, the tip of her tongue slipping over her upper lip. "_I've missed you!_"

"I've missed you too." He found a chair and settled into it. There were a few wounds he had to take care of eventually, y'know, gunshot wounds and gashes. They could wait, though, Lambe was too beautiful to ignore for anything less of (another) nuclear bomb warning.

"_No._" Lambe suddenly looked too sensual, too dangerous and alluring like a tiger in the shadows, green glinting eyes focused on Colonnello as if she could see him. As if she had known exactly what he would say.

He had to check to make sure this wasn't a live conversation. Nope, it was a recording.

"_Kora, _how'd you manage this?"

"_I have _really_ missed you,_" Lambe went on to say, hugging his jacket close to her body. She stepped back and her bare shoulders came into view. Another step and Colonnello caught a peek of the bed close to her.

A few more and he knew that the only thing guarding her naked body from his hungry eyes was that jacket.

"_You have no clue just how much I've missed you. So I thought I would try to show you._"

Bare skin was revealed to him as she threw the jacket on the bed and stalked after it, crawling on hands and knees into the center of the mattress he knew to be stiff as a wood (but he also knew that was how she liked it for her back). She made it look sexy, though.

Or maybe he was just so transfixed by her ass that he didn't really notice anything else. It was so _tight_.

"_Are you watching me, Col-onn-ell-o?_" She dragged his name out like a naughty word, peeking over her shoulder back at him. "_I don't want you to miss a thing._"

He was watching. There was no looking away. Fuck the nuclear bomb, it could blow and it wouldn't matter.

He'd die happy.

She turned over onto her back and, shamelessly, spread her legs and arched her toes, curving her torso till the angle of body was such that Colonnello was hypnotized both by the rise of her breasts and her wet, intimate lips.

Ooooh, yeah… she had _so_ missed him.

A hardening in his cargo pants told him that he had missed her just as much. He reached down and undid them. Thank _fuck _for going commando.

She burrowed her nose in his jacket and shuddered, hips bucking as a hand drifted over her body. She found the medallions chained to her neck first, fingering the 02 trinket as if she could conjure him with it like a genie, and then caught a nipple with her nimble fingers and twisted lightly, releasing a keening moan as she did so. "_I wish you were here, Colonnello. I wish you could be doing this to me, you know my body better than I do…_" She turned her head and smiled at the camera.

At him.

"Yare, yare_, what does a girl have to do to get her lover to _fuck_ her so hard she won't ever feel so lonely again?_"

"Just keep doing what you're doing, _kora_," he growled. "You'll find out soon enough." He shifted uncomfortably and his cock finally defeated gravity to stand parallel to his abdomen.

She whimpered wantonly as she bit down on his jacket and her other hand molested her inner thigh like he loved to do. He loved to suck on that milky flesh, like a snack on the way to his main course down lower. He loved to feel those muscles quiver and clench against his lips and hands as he brought her pleasure.

He wrapped his own hand around his cock and rubbed lazily.

"Ti voglio qui! Voglio che tu mi tocchi come si fa, allo stesso modo che mi fa impazzire ogni volta!" She arched as the fingers twiddling with her perky bud dipped between her shaky thighs and found her soaked core. She rubbed against the lips, over and over again until she was panting into his jacket, and then a single finger separated the folds and disappeared into her body.

They groaned in unison.

That single finger thrust into and out of her body at an excruciatingly slow rate, _too fucking slow_ for his own health. He squeezed down on the head of his dick, lips curled in a snarl, and felt every muscle in his body lock in anticipation.

"_Oh, look what I bought~_" she suddenly sing-sang, the hand that had been on her thigh reaching out behind a pillow and retrieving a long, thick object that looked almost too familiar.

Colonnello raised a blonde eyebrow. "_Kora_, that dildo looks just like my…"

"_I was really surprised when I found this… it reminded me of you._" She ran the length of it over her tongue, heated, glazed eyes on the camera as she did so. "_I'm going to put this inside of me, Colonnello. And you're going to watch me do it._"

"Fuck yes."

The dildo slid into her mouth, down her throat, and retracted slowly. It didn't take long for him to figure out that she had a tempo going on between her hand and the false dick. She added a second finger and her thumb pressed against her clit, making her keen.

"_Tu non sai nemmeno quello che ho intenzione di fare a voi quando siete tutti la mia di nuovo._" Colonnello watched her through heavy-lidded eyes as she popped the dildo out of her cute little mouth and trailed it down her cute little body to where it probed against her cute little…

Lambe cried out as she replaced her fingers with the false cock. He could hear the slick sounds of it separating her inner folds, pushing against her resistance till she gave and it slipped in to touch her deepest, naughtiest secrets. "_C-Colonello!_"

"Lambe…"

There was a moment where she was still, panting as she adjusted. And then her hips rolled into the invasion, stealing it even deeper, and she was at last fucking herself on the dildo that wasn't him.

If he wasn't so turned on, he'd be jealous. Hell, he was jealous. That dildo was right where he wanted to be, _but it would never feel as good as he did_.

Lambe was wailing with pleasure as she twisted her body and wrapped an arm under her one leg, lifting it up and laying on her side. The dildo went deeper. He could see more.

She threw her head back and groaned as the slick sounds got louder and louder till they echoed in his ears. His hand was working furiously on his cock, base to head, head to base, _balls_, repeat – _fuck, _he needed relief!

He actually saw the wicked idea dance into her dazed eyes.

She stopped. Just… stopped. And she sat up. She held the dildo in her body with one hand and crawled closer on her knees. The camera angle changed a bit as she reached out and fondled with it, moving it, and then he was up close and personal with the hot, velvet sheath he wanted to inhabit. He could see her wet lips stretched over the width of the dildo, could see the clenching and un-clenching of her abdomen.

She moved the dildo and he could hear the movements better than ever, could actually see her body swallow _every fucking inch_ of the toy.

Lambe cried out. "_I-if only you were here! _Y-yare, yare_! I wish you were here, I wish y-you would touch me t-the way you do!_"

He was thrusting up into his hand by now, more than half out of his mind as he watched.

Two more minutes and then Lambe was shaking so hard, Colonnello could see her skin quivering.

She fell back on the bed, gasping and panting and begging in Italian, Japanese, English, Russian, and Swedish. And all she wanted… all she needed… was _him_.

Colonnello smirked. Yeah, this was a huge stroke to his ego.

Lambe tilted her face towards the camera, face flushed and still fucking herself on the dick-lookalike. "_You love it here… don't you? I-in here? B-but you like it here too, don't you?_" The dildo slid out and she lifted her hips till the toy could follow the curve of her ass to press against her opening.

Colonnello snarled. _Yes_.

"_Oh, yessss! You love it!_"

He did love it. He had told her hundreds of times that he loved it. Oh, _fuck_, he'd kill just to have her with him right now, pressed against his hard body, his to sweetly torture.

She screamed as the dildo penetrated the tight ring of muscles and he realized, somewhere in his mind where there was thought, that she hadn't prepared herself for anal.

That seemed to be all she needed, though. She screamed again, louder, and shook like a leaf on the wind as her body went tense.

Clear liquid flowed from her pussy and dripped onto the bed covers.

"Yare, yare…" she sighed as she slowly came down from her high.

Colonnello stared at her small, beautiful body, lax in orgasm and that dildo up her tight, gorgeous ass. He swore as the image undid him, spattering the small screen with white essence and himself a bit too.

She wasn't done, though, and he panted as he watched her move lazily.

"_Colonnello…_" she purred. "Ti amo." She ran a hand through her long ebony hair, pushing the sweaty locks out of her face. "_I hope you enjoyed the show. Please, come back soon~_"

He planned to.

~::~

_Ciao, amante! _– Hello, lover!

_Ciao, bambina._ – Hello, baby.

_Kora_ – Hey

_Yare, yare_ – Oh dear/ dear me/ goodness (etc…)

_Ti voglio qui! Voglio che tu mi tocchi come si fa, allo stesso modo che mi fa impazzire ogni volta!_ – I want you here! I want you to touch me like you do, the same waythat drives me crazy every time!

_Tu non sai nemmeno quello che ho intenzione di fare a voi quando siete tutti la mia di nuovo._ – You do not even know what I'm going to do to you when you're all mine again.

_Ti amo_ – I love you.

~::~

_6…_

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…_."_

"…_."_

"_Just say something!" Lambe, or who he had come to assume was Lambe, yelled at him, legs folded beneath herself and her tiny body tucked into a thermal blanket. The two boys had taken off for the train the moment their feet had touched the ground. _

_He imagined they were going to faint once they realized that the train wouldn't come till Colonnello demanded it. They definitely weren't worthy Mafioso's, being such scared shits. _

"_You have a ten-year bazooka. So what?"_

_She smiled. "I knew that was what you were going to say!" A pink cloud erupted around her. When it disappeared, the five-year old demon was back._

_The little itty bitty girl blinked at him, rubbed her eyes tiredly, and then gave him a new look of 'I'm too sleepy to care about you'. "You made the princess Lambe so stressed, I'm tired!"_

_Colonnello stared hard at the five-year old till she started to fidget. _

_He knew, without a doubt, somehow, that he was never going to be rid of her._

_7…_

Lambe woke up that morning to a wonderful surprise.

That wonderful surprise was half naked in her bed, stroking himself to the sight of her (and she knew that was it because he was staring like he couldn't look away), and grinned when her gaze flittered up to meet his.

"_Kora_, that was a dirty trick you played on me."

"_Yare, yare_… That wasn't a dirty trick." She licked her lips. "I was just trying to get you to come back to me quicker."

"Uh huh." He slid a hand between her legs, separating them gently, and petted her inner thigh. "Sure."

She shivered. "It's the truth."

He put his mouth over hers, silencing her. She tasted fruit and summer on his tongue, salt and copper too. She let her tongue play shyly with his.

"'Course it is." He rolled over her, towering over her, and she reveled in the heat he shed off like the sun. She practically melted as he pressed the hard planes of his body against her smooth curves.

"So you've missed me, _kora_?"

"So much."

"Still miss me?"

"Oh, yeah." She wrapped her arms around her shoulders and held on for dear life as his body slipped between her legs. His cock rubbed against her boxers.

The thing with wearing guy boxers, however, was the slit in them. Colonnello maneuvered himself till he slipped right through it and his dick molested her vagina without penetrating.

She keened and clawed at his back. "C-Colonnello!"

"Lambe…" He nipped her bottom lip. "Ready for the real deal, _kora_?"

She nearly nodded her head – stopped – and gave him a long look instead. "I f-forgot…"

"Hm? What did you forget?"

She pressed her lips gently to his temple. "_Benvenuti a casa._"

He laughed, just because he had to. His eyes were warm as he nipped her clavicle through her nightshirt. "_Sono a casa. Ti amo_."

"_Anch'io ti amo._"

~::~

_Benvenuti a casa. _– Welcome home.

_Sono a casa _– I'm home.

_Anch'io ti amo. _– I love you too.

~::~

_Author's Note_: Did I make Lambo a girl just to write straight sex? _Oh dear_. And I made it _not_ with Reborn? _Blasphemy_!

Hah hah, but it was actually really fun. It was definitely a change from the usual routine and I need one of those every once in awhile!


End file.
